why we should declare war on the coconut palm

why we should declare war on the coconut palm:

1. coconut palm kill 7 people a year by dropping their coconuts on them
2. if i killed 7 people a year, I would go to jail and possibly death row, if palm trees kill 7 people a year they get put on to a flag
3. we need a easy quick war to increase motivation for our troops and civilians
4. there would be few true casualties in said war, 2 men with a chainsaw just cutting down trees all day